An Unwise Man Looks at Turning 50


Oh no!! Goodbye 40's -- Hello AARP!!!
So here I am -- sitting in my correctional center classroom at 6:35 in the morning, planning what will be the last day that I spend as someone in his 40’s. And it is a bit nerve wracking, but gives great reason to take pause for a few minutes.

Here’s what is scariest. Like many people, when I turned 40, there was a feeling that perhaps my life was now half over. At 50, that fraction has jumped to 2/3. How did that happen in a decade that felt like it took three years to finish?

As I look back on my first half-century, it is hard not to notice the ironic twists that have made up my life so far.

Here’s a good example. My wife Elizabeth and I have been married for almost 12 years. It’s a well-known fact that we don’t have any children, as measured by the endless number of times I am asked, “Don’t you wish you had kids?”

Selfie taken today - the last day
of my 40's. At least I learned how
to take a selfie during this decade!
I have an answer. We’re both teachers. For the purpose of my personal argument, I started scribbling numbers last night. Between coaching cross-country and track (at five different schools) for 17 years, I estimated that there have been about 800 young athletes who have called me “Coach.” Granted, some of these “youngsters” are now well into their 40’s! As far as teaching for 12-13 years, among the middle school, high school, alternative, college and current correctional classes under my watch, the number of students probably exceeds 2,500. Heck, during my nine years at Centura College, I got new students every five weeks, and had as many as 160 at a time. Adding on the students that I have tutored, or administered SOL tests to at home, or any other variation of educational experiences, my sum total comes up to almost 3,500 young men and women under my guidance. Do I still miss not having kids????  

Sometimes, but not often.

But under the title of teacher or coach is only one way that people have known me. For most of my teenage years, I was “that runner.” The persona in my 20’s was probably “that guy that works at the Post Office.” In my early thirties, I was probably more of “that guy that sings,” late 30’s – “that real estate agent.” Even now, there are a few people that think of me as “that sports writer.” I’m very thankful for the last one.

The funny moments in life come when my colleagues from one generation become aware of the other “Jims” that exist. For example, I lived in Alexandria, VA from birth (obviously 1965) to 2003 and many people there have no idea that I started writing and have about 400 bylines, this blog, and the co-author title on a book. By contrast, many people in the Newport News/Tidewater area don’t know that I ran cross-country and track in high school and college (Division I, even!). I don’t blame them. I weigh about 207 now, roughly 60 pounds over my old “fighting” weight.

Looking back, there have also been some awkwardly memorable moments. Here are some quick ones. Back in 1989, I was listening to Sam Kinison on the Howard Stern radio show. Stern had just expanded his show back to the Washington, D.C. area, and I was an avid listener, especially since my job at the Merrifield P.O. ended at 6:30 AM. On one eventful morning, Kinison showed up to the show BOMBED!! Just “Light ‘em up” drunk! Since we had a fax machine in the house (home business), I sent a fax to the N.Y. studio of WXRK-FM and wrote that “I’m getting drunk just listening to Sam!” It was fairly true, and sure enough, five minutes later, Robin Quivers read the fax over the air. Kinison was beside himself.

"(Andrew) ”Dice” Clay sent that!! That was Dice!! OH!! OH!! OH-H-H-H!!!!"

It was a noteworthy enough event to garner inclusion into Stern’s “Private Parts” book. Look it up – I forget the page number, but it’s there.

Three years before that, at a business leadership seminar at New York University, I had the honor and pleasure of meeting former President Gerald Ford during the 1 PM hour, then the distinction of getting CBS News’ veteran journalist Mike Wallace in an argument with one of Wall Street’s most famous lawyers, Marshall Manley, because of something I asked during a Q&A two hours later. Perhaps the other significant event of this day was being followed to the bathroom by three Secret Service agents during lunch (Ford was speaking).

For the record, the question had to do with Janet Cooke of the Washington Post winning a Pulitzer Prize from a fabricated story. Manley didn’t think the journalism question was appropriate for the forum, and Wallace did. They verbally sparred for a couple of minutes over it.

I’ll end with a third, and it gets back to running. After my 1982 cross-country season with Wagner College, we finally arrived at the end of the season, and the chance to stay out real late and party on a Friday night because, for once, we weren’t going to have a Saturday meet. Given my penchant for keeping the saloon owners of Staten Island open as late as possible, I burned all of my midnight oil, and staggered back to my room from Brandy’s Place around 3 AM, totally unaware that four hours later, there would be an intrusive knock on the door.

“JIM!!!!,” yelled the voice through my dormitory barrier. “Get up! We need a fifth man!” The open Metropolitan Championships were going to be held that day at the fabled Van Cortlandt Park, and in spite of my intention not to run in this “optional” meet, I was now about to be kicked into play. To add insult to injury, this race would be a 10K (6.2 miles), as opposed to the regular five-mile college races.

There was a large gathering at the starting line, but I stumbled to a spot in the second row center. And why not? If I was going to go down in flames, I was going to go LARGE! As we readied to start, an old man on a megaphone began to make an announcement.

“We are honored and pleased to have one of the all-time greatest distance runners with us today. He was a standout at Villanova, and in his career has distinguished himself as one of our great milers. I would like to introduce the current world record holder in the mile.. EAMONN COGHLAN!!”

In 1982, Eamonn Coghlan, of Ireland, was the only runner in history to have broken the 3:50 mile indoors. I watched his races with admiration and awe, jumping up and down in my parents' kitchen when he broke the world indoor record. He was my running hero.

Feverishly, I looked around to see where Coghlan was. Nothing on the left, and nothing on the right. So it was surprising when I noticed that the runner two feet in front of me started waving to the crowd. In a moment of surrealism, I shook my hero’s hand, wished him luck, and waited for the gun to go off.

Our harrier duel was a short one. I managed to stay with Coghlan for about 100-meters, but ended up losing by about five minutes! In fairness, he beat everyone by well over a minute. Hell, I was just happy to place about 55th out of over 400 runners considering the condition that my condition was in.


Fortunately, it has been events like this that made me want to sit down and write about them. So, as I turn 50 tomorrow, I can finally, finally say that I know what I want to be when I grow up!! And, if you have made it this far, thank you for allowing me to indulge! CHEERS!


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