Visiting Parenthood

I have known Ed Nitkewicz for over 30 years. We started out as freshmen at Wagner College in the fall of 1982 - dorm neighbors actually. To see our band of misfits storming the corridors of Harbor View Hall was to see chaos run amuck. It's a wonder that we made it through the year, and actually, not everybody did.

Now, we work together on the Alumni Association Board of Directors at Wagner. Through this work, and several past experiences, I have come to learn more of Ed's life, and especially of the hard work he has done as an advocate for autism.

His writings have always impressed me and made me think because of his ability to cut to the core of an issue. As I told him last weekend after reading this piece, the core is not always a comfortable place to be, but is necessary when to are trying to make a point. This post can also be found on the aweinautism.org website. But, while deciding to invite guest bloggers to share their views on this site, I knew that Ed would be one of the first people I would invite.

By Edward J. Nitkewicz

Recently, I had an opportunity to spend my annual summer vacation with my wife’s family in Cape May New Jersey. It was, for different reasons, the most difficult week of my life. My 14 year old son suffers from autism. Many in the community rail against using the phrase “suffers from.” I however militantly and liberally employ it when my mood dictates. Though I try, I cannot always embrace my son’s disability cheerily with the earthy Lola Granola attitude that his disabilities make him so unique that we are the luckiest family on the planet. His inability to easily express his feelings, to socialize with any other children or to tell me when he feels disappointment, sadness or sheer joy is something he and his parents endure and “suffer.”

Attorney Ed Nitkewicz
of Long Island, NY
is a school board member
 in Huntington (NY) ,
as well as an advocate for
autism issues

I have spent the entirety of the past 14 years developing a different perspective on what “fatherhood” could be for me. It is certainly not what I planned on or prepared for. As I have offered many in my circumstances, “people plan and God laughs.” Sometimes however, I don’t feel like I am in on his joke. Other times, I just don’t have the emotional strength or desire to celebrate my “unique parenthood.” Sometimes, I just feel bad that my son suffers the significant limitations that come with having autism.

Over the past week, I have visited (albeit as a surrogate) the parenthood I always thought I would have. At the shore house in Cape May, New Jersey, I am the “awesomist uncle in the universe.” That does not represent a baseless boast. It is the title on the portrait of me drawn by one of my niece in laws. It is the term used when I take any of three teams rotating throughout the week for the daily $50 “candy run.” It is the battle cry yelled when the “pool fight” to drown and defeat the evil (yet still awesome) Uncle Ed ensues each day at 2PM after the last hot dog is consumed.

Watching seven children burying each other up to their heads in the white sand is unforgettable. Having them teach me how to boogie board “tasty waves” (as Jeff Spicoli once taught us) is priceless. And seeing them narrowly avoid a sugar coma from literally eating a grocery bag of candy every night is hilarious. It is heartbreaking that my son is not right in the middle of the daily blizzard of activity.

“It is acceptable to feel bad for our child, for our family, and for ourselves. The key is not letting it consume and define you.”

It is watching Edward’s cousins grow from babies to tweeners, witnessing them develop personalities and the accompanying “attitudes”, and seeing them move swiftly towards adulthood in a “typical” way, that cause me to experience a complex combination of joy, admiration, envy and pain. Professionals often push parents of impaired children to celebrate their unique qualities. I get that. However, grief requires that we allow for those moments in our life when we just feel sad for what our children aren’t. It is acceptable to feel bad for our child, for our family, and for ourselves. The key is not letting it consume and define you. This week, as I spent a week in a beach house in New Jersey with seven children related to me only through marriage, I was at once as happy and as sad as I have been in a very long time. I visualized what the world would look like if my son, the first and thus oldest cousin, were “typical.”

I am grateful that Edward has so many terrific cousins on both sides of his family. But as I enjoy their company, I can’t help but wonder in my heart which one among them will take the lead in looking out for my son when I am gone. After this week, I am confident the answer is “all of them.” And, I am eternally grateful to them for allowing me to visit the parenthood I once planned to have.

Weekend at the Virginia Duals

I was pleased to have been asked again to cover the Virginia Duals wrestling extravaganza for the DAILY PRESS. The Duals are a must see for the grappling enthusiast. This year, 76 college, high school and middle school teams took part. As mentioned ad nauseum in my articles, the fun of watching the Duals is that most of the time, 10 matches are taking place at once, making the sole announcer the most focused person in Hampton Coliseum. The focal point can change at any second, and for any reason. One minute, a grappler from Kent State can be spinning out of a hold on Mat 3, and then the next a 12-year old is throwing down an opponent for a pin on Mat 10.

Hampton Coliseum, site of the annual
Virginia Duals

The other highlight, and certainly not one that ever got mentioned in an article, is the food. It's a well known secret that the volunteers do a tremendous job at the Duals. But the cooks are the stars of the show. The fare is usually seafood, and to quote my younger runners, it's BANGIN' !! Saturday dinner in the Hospitality Room of Hampton Coliseum consisted of homemade clam chowder, scallops, clams, fried oysters, flounder stuffed with crab imperial, fries, salad. And I missed about half a dozen trays. So help me, i gained five pounds at the Duals, Very ironic in an arena where thousands of wrestlers were working hard to drop pounds for weigh-in. I almost felt guilty. Almost.

Here are some of the highlights from my two days of wrestling coverage, as posted on HRVarsity.com and printed in the Saturday, Sunday and Monday sports pages of the DAILY PRESS.

Day 1 results - Four teams win first-round matches

http://www.dailypress.com/sports/dp-spt-virginia-duals-feature-0112-20130111,0,5248548.story

Day 2 results - Hampton HS places fourth in Black and Blue Division

http://www.dailypress.com/sports/highschool/dp-spt-virginia-duals-feature-0113-20130112,0,426368.story

Conclusion - VA Tech defeats U. VA for National College Division title

http://www.dailypress.com/sports/dp-spt-virginia-duals-notebook-0113-20130112,0,2458112.story

Feeling the Power of the "HIPS"

Last month, I sent out (and posted) a holiday update noting some of the projects that are coming on the horizon for both the blog and McGrath Educational Services. In spite of the company name, the business is involved in many more things than simply tutoring.

I had mentioned a couple new projects, but left out one of the more important ventures with the idea of holding the thought until April. However, after continued thought, I decided, why wait?

 

Here’s the backstory. Leslie Dupree is a gospel singer and actress – she is originally from Williamsburg, but now lives in Newport News. About seven years ago, she was a student in my technical writing class at Centura College. For our final project, the students were required to write a proposal – an honest assignment requiring 10-15 pages of effort to push a real or imagined business endeavor.

My advice to students was this -- if you’re going to make the effort to develop a proposal, make it something that you really want to do. After all, you can put the plan out “on the street.”

Well, Leslie took this to heart and presented a creditable proposal for a record company. To my amazement, soon after the assignment was completed, she found a financial backer from her proposal and recorded her first CD,”Full Circle,” quite a heroic testimony which used the power of gospel music to tell the story of one woman overcoming personal struggles and finding light on the other end. You can do the Google search – the CD is available through ITunes, Amazon and quite a few other outlets.

Leslie Dupree, writer and director
of the stage play "HIPS," which will
debut in Newport News on June 1.

I knew this venture was serious when learning that she had received permission from Anita Baker’s record company to cover one of Baker’s songs, because according to record execs, “you’re the only other person who can sing it!”

Others may know Leslie from her work in the starring role of Fluorine in the nationally touring stage play, “Chaos in the House.” When they brought the show to the historic Kimball Theatre in Colonial Williamsburg, people from the outside started hovering around the front door because the sound of the singing and laughter in the theatre was loud enough to draw people off the street. Eventually, the fire marshal had to come and stop letting people in because of crowd issues. Imagine, the first African-American based play to hit CW in over 30 years, and they ran out of seats!

Making a long story short, her Les D Records has now become Les D Entertainment, and Leslie’s latest endeavor is another combination of drama, song and dance, brought to the viewer with a hard dose of honesty which will be sure to make one laugh, cry, but most importantly, think. I am delighted that Leslie has asked me to help with the promotion of her new play, “HIPS, “as it prepares for its opening night on June 1^st. For today, however, I’ll let Leslie introduce her play:

"HIPS" is an unorthodox, multicultural, informative, raw stage play about how pop culture and men views Plus Size women. It gives you a personal peek into the horrific betrayal of Danielle (the main character) by her husband, friends, society and her own body! In addition, the story-line brings awareness to the elusive, incurable disease SARCOIDOSIS, which prevents her from controlling her weight! Thus, leaving her trapped in a shell that causes a variety of attacks!

The writer, Leslie L. Dupree is directing this production through her own company, Les D Entertainment! She is taking this brave opportunity to expose some very private issues that she currently is living with, while bringing awareness to SARCOIDOSIS! Leslie also wrote "HIPS" to give a voice to Plus Size women; letting them know that you still can be beautiful, sexy, alluring, self-confident, creative and successful, in a word coined by Leslie herself, "HIPS-O-LICIOUS"!

The show is riddled with drama, comedy, unforgettable dance routines, witty dialogue, sultry solos, a Broadway styled duet and scenes that will have you on the edge of your seats!

"HIPS" - The Stage play will debut Saturday, June 1, 2013 at 7 PM at The WOODSIDE THEATER, located on 13450 Woodside Lane in Newport News, Virginia. For those near the Peninsula region of Virginia, this is right off Ft. Eustis Blvd. and Exit 250 on Route 64.

Don't miss the opportunity to be a part of History in the Making!

I can already report that this will be much more than a one-night show. In fact, there is already enough buzz that the play will be made into an independent film – and this has been managed five months before opening night! Stay tuned for more updates.

Tabb Wins BayPort Holiday Basketball Tournament

I figure that it might be proper to finish 2012 by posting the last two articles I wrote for the DAILY PRESS in 2012. Over the past couple of nights, four local teams gathered for a basketball tournament in Yorktown. Tabb HS emerged as the winner, and here are the links for the articles which appeared on Friday, Dec. 28 and today, the 29th.

Day 1: 

Poquoson, Tabb boys advance to BayPort Holiday Tournament title game

http://www.dailypress.com/sports/highschool/breaking/dp-spt-tabb-boys-tournament-1228-20121227,0,7915690.story

Day 2:

Tabb wins own tournament, 50-44 over Poquoson

http://www.dailypress.com/sports/highschool/breaking/dp-spt-tabb-boys-tournament-1229-20121228,0,636595.story

Peninsula Catholic Girls CC Repeat as State Independent Champs: Harpen wins TCIS and VISAA Boys titles

Bolstered by the late season return of last year’s Daily Press Runner of the Year Martine Hunnicutt, the Peninsula Catholic girls’ cross-country team returned to the site of its greatest team victory, Woodberry Forest School, in early November and successfully defended its VISAA Division 2 title.

The Lady Knights tallied 76 team points to finish 22 ahead of local rival Walsingham. Hunnicutt, who was hampered by injuries earlier in the fall, took fourth place (20:55) to lead the way. The team was helped by the pack running style of its other runners, a strategy which helped them to achieve runner-up status in the earlier TCIS championship. Becky Aungst (12^th  - 21:51.23) and Molly McKenna (13^th – 21:53.13) ran a strong second and third for Peninsula Catholic, while Grace Miner and Jessica Armstrong rounded out the top five.

Now in her 18^th year at the helm of the PC girls program, Coach Susan Bender attributed her team’s success to their ability to “tighten up the pack,” in essence, closing the gap between their second and fifth runners. Because of the way it’s scored, in a championship style meet, the success of the fourth and fifth fastest team finishers can affect the team score more than the performances of the top runners.

The girls’ team was not alone in their post-season success. The boys squad, led by Philip Harpen and Kevin Riley, took the top team honors at the TCIS meet, while placing second in the VISAA Division 2 championships.

Harpen took the top individual honors in both races. His time of 16:19.95 at TCIS easily outpaced his competition, with Riley taking third, helping PC to a narrow 62-64 victory over Norfolk Academy. At VISAA, Harpen traveled over the rolling hills of Woodberry Forest’s 5,000-meter course in 16:52.54, with Riley in fourth. The Knights team score of 143 was far short of first place Veritas Christian of Richmond who totaled 42, but still resulted in a second place finish of the 29 full teams represented.

Season's Greetings!!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from the “Wall!!”

I did send this message via e-mail today. My apologies 1) if you did not receive one - just means I don't have your e-mail address and 2) if you received duplicates :)

I didn’t pull a Humpty Dumpty and fall off the wall; however, I haven’t sent a message out in quite a while. No reason for this, just staying busy with some other things.

Best news – Elizabeth is almost finished with her Master’s degree in Special Education and spent part of her summer as an Oxford scholar. Yes, the one in England!

There are some other great things on the horizon.

First of all, as noted in an earlier post, I am back in the coaching arena after a three-year layoff, now with girls’ cross-country and working with the younger track athletes (officially, I’m the throwing coach) on the Menchville HS team here in Newport News. It is much fun to be back and it looks like the saying is true that “you always go back to what you love.”

Still doing some writing with the DAILY PRESS. There have been ample opportunities to work on community sports features for the Thursday Town Square section, either with Newport News, Hampton, Gloucester, or York County/Poquoson. It has been interesting just because of the wide range of stories – karate, bowling, even covered the winner of a fishing tournament. This week, I’m working on a story about an up-and-coming youth wrestling team which just started in Newport News. Look for it soon, probably the first Thursday after the New Year.

Staying with track, there might be another big opportunity in the works here. There is a new movement called TrackNation. You can find it on Facebook, where over 64,000 people have already “liked” it. Part of their vision is going to include publishing a magazine, which will be called TRACKSIDE. There is already some major corporate sponsorship behind the effort. The good news is that I may be doing some writing for the magazine. Had a great (almost two hour) talk with the editor last Saturday and he showed me the business plan and magazine ideas. WOW!! This movement is surely going to blow up the track world, mainly because with an online presence, it will bring out the “worldwide community” feel for the sport, bringing everyone together. Listening to the names rattled off as magazine contributors and potential article features was like listening to a “Who’s Who” of track. In fact, here’s his quote,  “Ok. Well Greg Foster, John Carlos, Tommie Smith, Bob Beamon, Justin Gatlin, etc are all waiting on your call.” More to come.

Also, while in the middle of doctoral comps and having some time, I’m getting ready to collaborate with one of my professors from William and Mary on an article on creativity and at-risk students. Dr. Kyung-Hee Kim has already conducted some eye opening research on the topic, drawing worldwide attention from publications such as the Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, The Metro World News (England). Superinteressante (Brazil), Periodista La Tercera (Chile), Korrespondent (Ukraine), the Globe and Mail (Canada). Her work was notably featured in a cover story for the June 19, 2011 issue of Newsweek.

Thank you for reading the Wall at http://jfmcgrath.blogspot.com. Many blessings to you and yours this holiday season.      ---  Jim   

HRA's Marston Wins Virginia HS Heisman

Original version of article published in Daily Press Newport News Town Square section on November 30, 2012. For more information, please visit www.dailypress.com or www.hrvarsity.com.

Geoffrey Marston of Hampton Roads Academy was recently honored with one of high schools highest awards of athletic distinction. In early November, the senior swimmer was selected as the Virginia State Winner of the 2012 Wendy’s High School Heisman award.

As the name suggests, the award is given in conjunction with the Heisman Trophy, college football’s most distinguished honor. And the competition is almost as fierce. Over 45,000 applicants started the process, working through a rigorous elimination system beginning at the school level, one which resulted in 100 winners - one male and female winner from each state.

The high school program, now in its 19^th year, celebrates the hard work, dedication and exceptional records in athletics, academics and community leadership. Spokesman Archie Griffin, a two-time winner of the collegiate Heisman said, “Colleges want well-rounded students, and with admissions being more selective, a national award like the Wendy’s High School Heisman can really help students stand out. Geoffrey and Caroline (Brailsford, the girls state winner) are inspirations to others in their school and community, and we’re honored to welcome them into the Heisman family.

As noted in its literature, the award has set the standard for high school student-athletes and gained prestige among colleges and universities nationwide. From listening to Marston and his swim coach and teachers at HRA, it becomes apparent that he is indeed a worthy recipient.

Mrs. Rebecca Deeley, Marston’s AP Environmental Science teacher, commented on her student’s influence on his classmates. “Geoff is remarkable in the way he raises the level of the game. He’s proactive, he’s engaged, and informed, which brings the rest of the class up.” In an interesting twist, she adds, “When we do labs or group projects, he doesn’t always pick another “A” student to work with. He finds someone that might not have the best grade in the class, and that way, they both earn “A’s.” For their current project, the class is working with the growth of a pet lunar moth, and are awaiting its emergence from the cocoon to occur “any day.”

Navigator swim coach Jeff Scott has spent more time with Marston, working with the versatile swimmer for “about six or seven years, beginning with the Coast Guard (club team).” Now in his third year as coach at HRA, Scott spoke of Marston’s leadership qualities. “Geoff is very versatile as a swimmer. Last year, he did the fly, the back, the intermediate medley. Really, he does whatever is best for the team. I look forward to his leadership this year.” Giving an example, Scott added, “If I were not to show at practice, Geoff would be able to take over.” The HRA swim team will be defending its Division 2 VISAA (Virginia Independent School) title this year for both the boys and girls squads.

While maintaining a 4.21 GPA and having scored 1370 on the two main components of the SAT exam, Marston has found time for other interests, to the amazement of both his teacher and coach.

Because of his experience as a basketball and baseball player at Warhill High, his previous school, Marston has stayed in touch with both sports by being involved with Buddy Ball, a program sponsored through the Williamsburg Youth Baseball League (www.williamsburgbaseball.com) and designed for children and young adults, ages 5-20, with special needs who are unable to participate in the established Cal Ripken or Babe Ruth leagues. His inspiration came from older brother Rob, who is autistic. Now 25, Rob was involved in the program and introduced the younger Marston into both Buddy Ball and Buddy Hoops, its basketball counterpart.

“It’s amazing to me how forward everyone looks to it,” said Marston, thinking of the Sunday sessions which he has worked for three years in the fall and spring. “Even if it’s just for one hour on Sunday, (the players and buddies) talk about it all week.”

It’s an experience which has helped him as a leader on the HRA swim team. “Seeing the younger kids develop has made me realize how much we have improved as a team. We want to continue the tradition.” With HRA’s standing as a pre K-12 school, the younger Navigators are aware of Marston’s accomplishments. Adds Deeley, “it’s safe to say that a lot of the little kids know Geoff.”

Marston’s future plans are not finalized yet, but he wants to attend college next year and study either engineering or medicine. Both coach Scott and teacher Deeley agree that he can do either one ably. Competitive aquatics are also part of his future. “I’m planning on swimming at a Division I school.” A trip to the NCSA Junior National swim meet in Orlando next March should be a good measuring stick for his recruitment value.

Perhaps the only question left in Geoffrey Marston’s planning deals with the location of the state Heisman award itself. His selection as the state winner was noted on the Wendy’s website two weeks ago. But at the time of the interview, no contact had been made with the Marston’s, nor had an actual award, or ceremony plans, arrived. Marston took the communication blunder in stride. “It’s just an honor to be representing HRA.”

.

Resolving School Conflict Creatively - A Big Apple Approach

Over the past 30 years, the term “conflict resolution” has taken on deeper meaning in the educational world.  Most of its understanding derives from the idea that conflict is inevitable, and as such, as with life in general, some conflict is a normal occurrence in all schools. (Inger, 1991).

Many of the advances shown recently in the bully awareness movement can be traced back to the fundamental idea that students and teachers need to be able to work out their differences. In fact, this conflict resolution skill needs to be developed by all members of a school community. One of the more successful programs had its beginnings in New York City.

Resolving Conflict Creatively

By definition, conflict resolution is seen as a “constructive approach to interpersonal and intergroup conflicts that helps people with opposing positions work together to arrive at mutually acceptable compromise solutions.” (1991). In New York City, schools such as James Madison High School in Brooklyn are putting a new approach to work.

The program is called Resolving Conflict Creatively, or RCCP. It is a joint undertaking between the educational board in New York City and an organization called the Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR). The project started small over twenty-five years ago, with less than 20 teachers in a few schools. But, because of its success, now over one thousand teachers and close to 35,000 students from over 100 city schools have an RCCP program in place. In New York, classroom teachers set aside valuable time to institute this ten-unit lesson on diversity relations, group learning and dispute techniques into their lesson plans.

How Does RCCP Work

The 20 hours of training begins between fourth and sixth grades for those who will serve as student mediators. For a three day session, as many as 40 students from twelve selected schools around the city receive three days of mediation training. This sets the foundation of trained students needed to implement the program. After completing the program the students begin serving as mediators at various schools. Their job is strictly to work in the mediator role, listening to both disputants and facilitating communication in the conflict resolution process.

Schools have to actively use the RCCP curriculum for at least a year to be eligible for the training course.

Training for All Stakeholders

Once their training is complete, the student mediators are able to serve the population within their schools, making the program available to all students.

However, there is an added dimension to the RCCP program, that being its availability to all stakeholders of the school. Teachers, counselors, and even parents are eligible to receive training at the various “outreach seminars” offered by the qualified counselors of RCCP. The counselors apply to be involved with the program and are chosen on merit. After selection, they are trained on the same curriculum which they will teach to the young students of New York City.

Parents have also been known to work as counselors. The training involves ten 4-hour sessions with the 20 hour course included as part of the training.

References

Inger, M. (1991). Conflict resolution programs in schools. ERIC/CUE Digest 74. ERIC

       Clearinghouse on Urban Education, Institute for Urban and Minority Education: New York.

 Rifkin, J. (1991). An overview of dispute resolution in educational institutions. National

       Institute for Dispute Resolution FORUM, 1-4.

When The Rich Become Poor - "Nickel and Dimed"

Several years ago, as part of a Business ethics class I was teaching, our students were required to read a book called "Nickel and Dimed." The book is a quick read (less than 200 pages) and tells the story of Barbara Ehrenreich, an upper-middle class, country club attending type of writer from the outskirts of New York City -- Westport, Connecticut if my memory serves correctly.

Ehrenreich decided that she wanted to experience life as a member of the working poor. Her objective was to feel on a firsthand basis the daily frustrations involved with working a minimum wage type job. even after four years, I still think about this book, and am apparently not alone - it was a New York Times bestseller soon after its publication.

Why did this book touch a nerve? Let me try and count three ways.

After reading Barbara Ehrenreich’s book “Nickel and Dimed,” I believe that there are three good reasons for its success, and understand why it is an effective story and one which became a national best seller.

First, she emphasizes the points she wishes to make by diversifying her experiences. Rather than working one low paying job, she moves from one part of the United States to another, taking on different jobs at different companies. This gave her real world experience as a working poor person, but allowed her to view the picture from different angles. She was poor in Maine and poor in Minnesota. This allowed her to meet more people and gain the knowledge of many rather than a few. This gives her a greater depth of knowledge on what it is like to be poor. Also, by not staying in one location for a long period of time, she did not allow herself to develop any survival skills or shortcuts to help her situation.

Second, her book was effective because her normal lifestyle contrasted the one which she decided to live as a low-earning worker. If an individual was always working at a wage close to the poverty level and decided to write about it, the story wouldn’t be as interesting because to the writer, it would just be a story about his or her life as it always is. Because there is no shock value, it wouldn’t be easy for the writer to best describe their situation. Barbara Ehrenreich was effective because her own feeling of shock and helplessness communicated well to the reader because she did a good job at describing her feelings. I don’t believe a person who is normally poor would be able to express themselves as well. Therefore, Ehrenreich’s ability to contrast rather than compare to her normal life makes this story effective.

Finally, the author makes this an effective story by not just giving the reader her own opinions. She goes to great lengths to interview other co-workers to add more insights to her own. By telling other’s stories, and having the professional writer’s ability to put the correct words in place, Ehrenreich ends up telling the stories of poor workers in five different cities, which helps to complement her own experience. Making this a collaborative work gives emphasis to the plight of the working poor person who has to work long and hard hours at menial jobs every day just to keep a roof over their head, gas in the car and food on the table. And if the car runs out of gas, or the power goes out, or the bus breaks down, another problem develops. 

Ehrenreich does a good job at bringing this to our attention. Her use of detailed examples is excellent.

In all, this is a great story which probably needed to be told from a rich person’s point of view. It is easy to read, which makes it appealing for people of all economic and educational levels. It gives a great account on what it’s like to earn a living when you have to work at low paying jobs and shows the real world problems that these people face every day.

For Garner, Bowling Is More Than A Game

Century Lanes in Hampton, VA

For many of us, joining a bowling league is an opportunity to share great times and spirited competition among friends and co-workers. It’s an outlet, and little more. Sure, there is the chance to latch on to a dream team and win one’s league, a feat which comes with a marginal cash prize and bragging rights around the water cooler. In short, it’s fun. Because of the built-in handicap, the bowler with a 120 average has as much chance to be on a winning team as the more accomplished bowler who peaks at about 180. Interspersed among the masses of high rollers are a couple of gamers who average a smidge over 200. To average over 200 is to enter rarefied air and achieve an “Idol” like status within the league.

For Hampton’s Josh Garner, bowling is becoming more than just a game. You see, this season, Josh’s average is an unheard of 228.

And to quote Garner, this (average) is “kind of low for me.”

Looking at his history, this should come as no surprise. Although Garner just turned 21, his accolades in the sport exceed those of most bowlers who have been in the game since duck pins were popular. After all, how many people in your league were featured in Sports Illustrated?

Garner was, as a featured subject in the May 31, 2004 “Faces in the Crowd” section, and he was wasn’t even a teenager at the time. To quote SI, “Josh, a 12-year-old seventh grader at Spratley Middle School, became the third youngest person ever to bowl a perfect game and have an 800 series in the same day.”

Did I mention that he was 12 when this occurred?

Garner is the youngest Peninsula bowler to roll a 300 game, as well as the first to bowl back-to-back perfect games at Century Lanes in Hampton. For the record, his best series is 824, a staggering 274.7 average for three games.

More recently, Garner made local headlines when he rolled back-to-back 300 games. On September 19, he scored a perfect game (as part of a 746 series) on his home lanes at Century. Then, the next night he rolled another 300 as part of a 763 series, using a newly drilled ball which he pulled out of the box just before the game. For the former Kecoughtan graduate, these represented his 15^th and 16^th perfect games. For good showing, on September 26^th, during the Hampton Handicap League at Century, he rolled one more perfecto – number 17.

Bowling has become Garner’s game of choice these days, although he did pitch and play shortstop all four years of high school for the Warrior baseball team before graduating in 2009. It’s a year-round endeavor, with the typical winter season lasting approximately 36 weeks, followed by a truncated summer league which goes for “three or four months.”

As previously mentioned, bowling has become more than a game for Garner. Century Lanes had been owned by his grandparents for over 30 years, but when they passed on, it looked like new owners would take over.

Says Garner, “I was taking some classes at Thomas Nelson (CC). But when they (grandparents) passed, I decided to use some of the inheritance money to get the center back into the family. So I bought into Century Lanes.” For Garner, the move was part sentimental value (“my parents said that I started bowling as soon as I could push a ball”) and part business venture, a chance to put real world usage into the business theories learned in junior college.

There may be more chapters written in Garner’s bowling career. Along with becoming a part-owner of Century Lanes, he would like to move his game to the next step, which includes taking a shot at joining the PBA.

“In the near future, I’d like to work on getting some sponsors, so that I can pay the fees to enter into these larger tournaments, and hopefully become a professional.”

Century Lanes is located at 1519 East Pembroke Avenue, Hampton, VA. Their phone number is (757) 722-2551 and their website can be found at bowlcentury.com.

What Would Hobbes Have to Say?

With the presidential election over, I am hearing from a number of conservatives who are disgusted with the result. Most of them show up on the TV screen, but quite a few have been in person. This was undoubtedly the most divisive election of my lifetime, and it is boldly displayed in the data. The president won almost all of the voters in categories such as African-American and Latinos, while Romney won a huge majority within his bases.

Is this a metaphor for the future of
our American government?

However, there were many fewer voters than in 2008 – more than eight million (roughly 121 million in 2012 compared to 129 million in 2008). Some Americans were more disgusted with the mudslinging and media abuse than the choice of candidates and as Geddy Lee of Rush once sang “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” Many chose to simply stay home and not be part of the process. These people have no legitimate reason to complain over the next four years.

Because of the ideological differences between President Obama and Governor Romney, it was hard for many voters to find common ground between the two, although they may have had a few consistencies. In a sense, the choice seemed to be for good versus evil, and the choice of candidate to play each role split right down the middle; in fact about 51-48, in favor of our current President winning the showdown and riding off into the sunset.

Getting back to the complaints I’m seeing and hearing, the main ones look at the President’s record over the past four years. Terms used such as ‘redistribution of wealth” come back in conversations labeled as “socialist.” Today the inevitable occurred as I saw a picture of a bumper sticker on Facebook. The sticker read “Welcome to the U.S.S.A – The United Socialist States of America.” In light of the angst displayed by many over the past few months, I think some of us saw that coming.

Regardless of one’s personal preference, the election is over and we need to come together to support the President’s second term. The people have spoken. Personally, I believe that the politicians have backed themselves so far into a corner that compromise is now a necessity of job security for our legislators. As a collective society, we chose to make few changes in a Congress that holds less than 20% job approval. Fool us twice? I'd hope not.

My hunch is that the person who could benefit most from a well-crafted compromise in the budgetary process is none other than the current chairman of the Budget committee, Congressman Paul Ryan. Hmmm, didn’t he just run for Vice-President? Balanced budget = 2016 Presidential candidacy?

For those who would like to read an old philosopher’s view of this, I would recommend a glance at Thomas Hobbes’ “The Leviathan.” In Hobbes’ view, people are usually driven by fear and the natural “State of Nature” is a violent one. For this reason, we need to be governed by one force which represents our collective identity, but one which has a large monstrous head. Regardless of your political preference, (and I disagree with the thought, but love the metaphor) it’s worth a look. 

Is It More Important to Make a Dollar or Make a Difference?

I guess this question popped up in my mind last Friday night. Hurricane Sandy had bounced off our southeastern coast of Virginia, taken a fatal northwest turn somewhere around Delaware and had decimated the Jersey shore. But as I caught up to the news, it became apparent that Staten Island, New York, home of my alma mater Wagner College, had caught the worst of the storm, and there were at least 22 casualities. Reading through Facebook posts made me realize that it was now at the forefront of the headline news.

Geraldo Rivera as an investigative reporter
for WABC-TV in New York during
the early 1970's

By chance, Geraldo Rivera flashed past my screen while I was channel surfing and I had to turn back. I knew there was a chance he’d be on top of this story. After all, Geraldo, then a rookie  newsman with WABC, earned his first famous scoop as a local investigative reporter in 1972 when he uncovered the atrocities which were occurring at the Willowbrook State School on Staten Island. I knew that the Island had a special meaning and he might be able to provide a keen insight into the blight of these hundreds of homeless people lined up near Midland Beach.

It was disappointing to watch. Obviously, Rivera is now jaded and far too comfortable in his own opulent lifestyle to truly communicate the importance of the moment. It’s not his fault. And Rivera has performed some remarkable acts of charity, including funding scholarships and paying the college tuition for selected students, some who he identified out of a group of 27 middle-schoolers, during a visit to Spanish Harlem.

But the fire wasn’t there for Geraldo the other night. Rivera talked with some of the victims, gave a few youngsters awkward rubs on the head, went to commercial and returned without the previous guests on several occasions, suggesting that they were “moved aside’ during the break.

The whole episode made me think, is he trying to make the best effort to help, or is this a good news topic to push ratings on his self-titled show? Money or mission? I wasn’t sure.

Being the social media age, it took minutes to pose the question on Facebook and receive many thought provoking responses to the question – “Is it more important to make a dollar or make a difference?”

Here are some of the responses I found to be most worthwhile. I know it’s trite to simply say “Thanks for sharing,” but I did appreciate the insight, especially from a couple of people who were in the eye of the storm and certainly thinking of more important things than answering my question.

Jehmeesah Walker The way I see it, making a difference is more important. BUT!...when you make a dollar, you have the resources to broaden the scope of that difference you're making…. The question I tend to struggle with is whether making a difference of a BROAD scope is more important than just making a difference, as small as it may be. In other words, is Beyonce's influence to be revered more than that of a pre-school teacher simply because it's farther-reaching? I don't really think so.

Michele Mascali Petersen The dollar may make your wallet or home full...but making a difference fills the heart and soul....'You can't take it with you'...and I'm sure at the Pearly Gates no one asks for your credit score...but yes, a paradox...unfortunately too many with the dollars keep it instead of spreading the wealth....

Terri Naudzunas DeMeno Jim, look at some of my photos (Terri currently lives on Staten Island and has posted some amazing pictures showing the intensity of the damage from Sandy), a difference it is what matters

Lisa Halvorsen Malatos Make the dollar to make the difference

Robert Stratton It is something that every thinking person should evaluate for themselves. Mr. Jefferson had the right idea with that "pursuit of happiness" language. I hope that there will also always be incentives for people to try to have both.

Christine Rugen Chale Susan is right Jim, I know so many people who are successful and still give back in so many ways.

Meredith Lynch Acacia It was a great question and I think there is merit in both but I do agree that it is easier to make a difference when you have the dollars to back up your intentions.

John Sargent False choice. You could do both...or neither.

Back On The Coaching Trail

 Amazingly, I have not used this space to talk about my return to coaching cross-country and/or track after a three year layoff. 

After 15 years of working with high school boys and girls with cross-country and track at four different high schools (Bishop Ireton, J.E.B. Stuart, Denbigh, Grafton), my work schedule forced me to hang it up after the spring season of 2009. Entering a doctoral program at William and Mary just a month later seemed to cement the idea that this chapter of my life was completed.

Never say never.

With the completion of my doctoral classes and free afternoons, all of a sudden, the option to coach was there again, although I didn't think seriously about it.  I have been covering high school games for the Daily Press, which has been a whole lot of fun. Plus, my intention of late has been to find full-time employment with a university or school system in a position more in line with my new skills. With this cause, I spend a few minutes every day scanning the employment sections of local institutions.

But, a cross-country position popped up at Menchville HS here in Newport News, and I went ahead and applied. A week later, practice started. 

It has been fun, and it was great to see both our boys and girls enjoy undefeated dual meet seasons. However, it was disappointing that we fell short of district titles, although we were hindered by a few severe injuries, and the fact that some runners made it to the starting line was amazing enough. But our senior Dreux Gray did win the  boys race, knocking 36 seconds off his PR to finish the 5,000 meter race in 16:14. Tomorrow we go to regionals and he has a great chance of making it to the state meet as one of the top 15 (seeded #9 right now). A couple of our girls are long shots to make the team, but again, never say never.

Future also looks bright for our girls. Very young team which could have won our district at full strength. We know what to do differently for next year.

Ironically, my old team from Bishop Ireton ran their State Catholic meet at the same site as our district meet, at Newport News Park, and took runner-up for both boys and girls. At their next meet, the WCAC championships, the boys were 3rd and girls 4th. Here's a blurb I wrote for the State Catholic meet:

The Peninsula Catholic girls placed third, while the boys took fourth in Wednesday’s Virginia Catholic League championships, held on the 5,000 meter course at Newport News Park.

In the girls race, Martine Hunnicutt finished in second place with a time of 20:02, while Philip Harpen (second – 16:47) and Kevin Riley (third – 16:55) were the highest scoring Knights.

Paul VI swept both events, as the boys won with 49 points while the Panther girls scored 43 to outdistance Bishop Ireton, which placed runner-up in both races.

Matt O’Neil of Pope John Paul the Great (Dumfries) was the overall boys winner in 16:44. Bishop Sullivan’s Hannah Frazier paced the girls with a winning time of 19:36.

Virginia Catholic League Championships

(held at Newport News Park, 5,000 meters)

Boys – 1. O’Neil (PJP) 16;44, 2. Harpen (PC) 16:47, 3. Riley (PC) 16:55, 4. Stepka (PVI) 17:00, 5. Kocis (PVI) 17:25, 6. T. Jackson (S) 17:33, 7. Shaw (S) 17:33, 8. Roach (BI) 17:40, 9. LoGrande (BI) 17:42, 10. Leist (PJP) 17:45

Team scores – 1. Paul VI (PVI) 49, 2. Bishop Ireton (BI) 63, 3. Pope John Paul the Great (PJP) 65, 4. Peninsula Catholic (PC) 72.

Girls – 1. Frazier (BS) 19:36, 2. Hunnicutt (PC) 20:02, 3. Lohrer (BI) 20:10, 4. Necochea (BI) 20:17, 5. Rosini (PVI) 20:45, 6. Turcol (PVI) 20:47, 7. Aungst (PC) 20:53, 8. Bucaro (PVI) 20:55, 9. McKenna (PC) 20:58, 10. Lucas (S) 21:06

Team Scores – 1. Paul VI (PVI) 43, 2. Bishop Ireton (BI) 52, 3. Peninsula Catholic (PC) 59, 4. Bishop Sullivan (BS) 93, 5. Seton (S) 151, 6. Pope John Paul the Great (PJP) 157.